On this day, in the words of this very blog post, we command all of our readers to obtain a drum pump at this very moment (or as soon as practicable) and to keep it forever (or until death do you part). We make this commandment not out of some lust for power or to make a profit off of the products you purchase. Indeed we have no real connection to either the drum or pump manufacturing and selling industries. So why then do we place this burden unto you gentle reader? What is in it for us?
THE DRUM PUMP IS NECESSARY FOR YOUR EXISTENCE
These are two very good questions you just asked. They demonstrate that you have a mind of your own and are not simply content to follow every command that you are given like some kind of robot. On the other hand these questions you ask also demonstrate that you are not necessarily rebellious and are willing to submit to a command if it is given from a place of good faith and reason. Therefore, gentle reader, because of the good faith on your own part that you have demonstrate through these two very important and reasonable questions you have asked we shall grant your petition and answer them.
Why do we issue this commandment and what do we stand to benefit therefrom? We make this commandment from a place of compassion. We realize that you are in possession of industrial drums filled with vital fluids. We further realize that you have no efficient way of extracting said vital fluids. Therefore we command you to purchase a pump so that extracting those vital fluids becomes an easy process for you. Now, what is in it for us? Very simply, we experience joy when we see that a burden in your existence has been lifted.
It seems that everyone is driving a golf cart Florida forever now. This is especially true for the city of Port Charlotte for some reason. Just why this happens to be the case seems to be a bit of a mystery. But we here at the Everyone Forever Now blog are always game for a mystery. As such, we assigned this task to the very best investigators we have on our staff. They took the time to travel to Port Charlotte and see what’s what. What they found was not at all what we expected and will both amaze and astound or loyal readers.
SOLVING THE MYSTERY OF GOLF CART FLORIDA IN PORT CHARLOTTE
When our investigator arrived in Port Charlotte they certainly saw a lot of golf carts being driven by all manner of drivers. They walked down to the water front and saw golf carts parked in front of restaurants. They went to the bustling central business district and observed a virtual sea of golf carts traveling to and fro along the main thoroughfares. It was difficult at first to flag a driver down in order to interview them but they were eventually able to make this happen.
The following is a transcription of one of the interviews:
EFN : Excuse me sir can we ask you a few questions about your golf cart?
Man : Certainly, but you’ll have to be fast about it. I’m in a hurry.
EFN : Not a problem sir. We very much respect your time.
Man : Well I appreciate that. Now how can I help you gents?
EFN : We noticed that you and many other people in Port Charlotte have been driving golf carts instead of cars.
Man : Yes?
EFN : Can you tell us why you are doing this and perhaps why everyone else seems to be doing this as well?
Man : Well, I cannot speak for everyone else but what I can tell you is that driving a golf cart is easier for an older gentleman like myself…
(To be continued…)